Ive read some women say that once theyve seen their man cry they loose attraction. He said he still loved me but not as much as when we 1st met .. and that he didn't want to stay with me and in 2 years love me less again! Not necessarily. I wasnt sure what to say, I didnt want to pressure him into anything so I just looked him in the eyes, smiled and said its ok. Once I dried him and myself off, we got into bed and I stuck the tv on, I was half watching it and half playing with his hair. Thanks for listening to me, Im sorry its so long, I perhaps could have made it shorter but I thought everything in here helps paint the best picture of the evening and therefore helps anyone in giving me accurate advice. I outlined that I enjoyed our shower time & spending intimate time together like that, I said that I dont expect him to bring it up if he doesnt want, that I know how hard it is for him to speak about those things, but Ill be here for him if he ever does. I honestly really thought that was a common thing? Set up a time to get together. Ask for his advice. The act of giving a gift should always be appropriate to the stage of the relationship. Share a cute pic. 7679 People love this GET IT HERE. Rule No.1 Spending more doesnt make you more valuable as a woman. August 11, 2009 12:23pm CST. I didnt expect any response from him on the topic tbh, later that evening though he handed me a small note before going into the other room to play his game. MadameNoire Copyright 2023 BossipMadameNoire, LLC All Rights Reserved | BHM Digital. It's stuff like this that makes me think "Thank fuck I'm gay". CLICK HERE to download this special report. The answer is of course. Men aren't reknown for showing their emotions by crying, and a lot of men find that they can't cry real tears and really let the floodgates open. ones who if you remind them will actually get you a spectacular gift, the narcissist who would never consider the feelings of anyone else. Men love gifts that serve a purpose gifts that help them solve a problem or achieve an end. Do you really need to get something extra? I wish my ex-girlfriend did that. P.S. They exist, but to be honest I view such people as being incredibly un-empathetic and emotionally stunted. I asked him if he wanted to talk, he started telling me about his ex, who broke up with him after she saw him crying. Some people classify these people as cheapskates, but the issue lies deeper than that. But yesterday, I(25F) found out that I have cancer (it's just thyroid cancer tho) and I told him. In order to offer the best value when you give a gift to a masculine soul, its important that you feel and know what value is to him. Then the message you are really sending is: I get my feeling of self-worth by PROVIDING for you. Have a think about the cost of sending that message, as a woman. Perhaps the worst kind of giverthe one who really knows how to manipulate the symbolic . When I saw my bf cry for the first time I started crying too and hugging him. But then I felt and heard him cry. If you can't be with your boyfriend to celebrate in person make the most of our free delivery Australia-wide for orders over $99. Actions speak louder than words. It was a jar with many phrases . The way you go about buying and giving gifts matters, and more importantly, what you give and HOW you give the gift sets up the right dynamic between you and a man, or it doesnt. . I (24F) am in a relationship with my boyfriend (28M) for 3 years. Connect deeper with her work through the social media links below. Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. If it makes you over the moon, BE over the moon, if it upsets you, let it upset you! Yesterday we were taking a shower together and he started talking about his childhood trauma (his dad committed suicide when he was 8) and until a certain point in the conversation he was acting "normal". I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma not long after my 21st birthday not too long ago, and I know my girlfriend wasn't okay when she found out. Assuming it is a couple of months more and you still arent sure? He was scared that I wouldn't see him as a man anymore. We were just lying down in bed and he was lying on my lap. Women actually call this act love bombing (and its the one dating red flag that women routinely fall for! I dimmed the bathroom lights & put some relaxing music we both enjoy on the speaker. It just makes me feel more miserable, alone and many things. My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me .. February 13, 2023 Every man wants her woman to express her deep love towards him and show him he is strong and best for her. Youre a real one. And having someone like him is only going to help. Cookie Notice Not going to lie, if my wife washed my hair and massaged my scalp I would probably cry too and my mom isnt dying from any known diseases. i spent a while massaging his head as a i washed his hair. Are you truly attracted to a man whom you need to buy things for and take care of? Earlier that week, he'd called me beautiful and told me he loved me. The Power Player. It would totally melt my heart to know that he cares that much, wish u luck with ur fight i hope u two have plentiful beautiful moments together . Tall, strong, works as a fireman, never complains about anything. Telling someone that he doesnt want to be around me because im suicidal IS NOT IT!!! Let me put it in clearer words, i get depressive episodes around my birthday due to ptsd and other issues, my boyfriend knows it way better than anybody else, there have been numerous events in the past month where i have reached points of self harm. Theres a reason: its because in my body it doesnt feel authentic to do this; it just doesnt feel like Im being the real ME. abstract. They really wont mind you making them work out why on earth you didnt like their gift. Reply 93. There are people who seem oblivious to giving gifts, But really, they are nice. Its nice, dont get me wrong. Yeah, to be honest I'm kinda jealous, and I have a loving wife. Thankyouu and although i kinda get that, i also wouldn't mind at all if he does. Seeing him like that made me love him all the more. Then there are people in this world who feel all gifts are obligations, that to give a gift means taking from themselves. We girls oftentimes get emotional during arguments and difficult situations, so we dissolve into tears and release our worries. He loved it! I've had a messed up life too and I have him now. Plus, youre not here to provide for the man. He always only laughs when things are funny, not at all good with sweet words, rarely is romantic and I almost never even saw him getting sad. Robert might also be one of those people for whom getting and giving gifts is just no big deal. That way, if he does decide to cough up a gift he will already know that you love poetry books, or anything with cats on it, or whatever it is that you really like. 2020-05-22 06:24:14 2043 views. As trite as it may be, its really the thought that counts most. He has really fluffy hair so when I looked at him and saw it I immediately wanted to play with it, so I started running my hands through his hair and twirling it. Coming from a guy who doesnt show much emotion most of the time, we feel it a lot but we tend to not show it until were alone. Mine was years ago and I bet theyve changed things a little. Occurred on December 25, 2022 / Australia: "My boyfriend and I are in Australia at Christmas away from our families. Dont criticize him. It's not something that can be approached half-heartedly, though, if it's going to be any fun for either. Many prayers and well wishes! Not all superheros wear capes but all superheroes cry. psychocustard. And thankyou for your insight as well. 3. We've fought about it in the past and he has said he just cannot get the words out. "It's just an observation." I assume that if they cry they are overcome with joy. (Click here to complete the quiz How Naturally Feminine Am I Actually?). Hello all. After God, you are the best thing that has happened to me. A day before that I was "f*cking embarrassing". 4. Your boyfriend is dealing with painful emotions and confusing thoughts about life after his mom or dad dies. and our 3. myself. It seems bizarre to me, if anything I feel even more attracted to him then before. I know this helped my husband who is very similar temperament wise. Edit: Most of yall are not getting it. Give him the gifts that he wants to receive. Rule No.6 if he buys you something, make your reaction to the gift honest. We don't want to add to your stress, so we become supprtive and bottle it up until you're not around and then let the emotions come out. advice and career trends - and MadameNoire provides all of that. My own husband is the latter variety. We offer perspectives from both a womans and a mans point of view. Another guy pov.I think he simply didn't wanted to show you his "weak side" at your vulnerable time. But I just dont think its necessary.). A woman that cant accept a man crying should be embarrassed. Not to mention, in the dating stages, if people shower someone else with gifts before the time is right, its always a red flag. Never in a million years did I think I would see him cry. Its also what every other girlfriend is giving her boyfriend, and it saves time and thought on your part. I'm so happy to have made the decision to be your husband and today, I thank God He gave me you. You got this! my boyfriend (28) and I (25) have been together for almost a year, we live together and most of the time everything is wonderful and we're very happy. It just doesnt touch them if you give him cupcakes as a gift. Some people refer to him as a robot. If after all of the above, if your next big day passes without a nice dinner, flowers or anything else from Robert, cut your losses. So theyre not as sensitive as your mom or your girlfriends are. Most men are also not interested in pointless, fluffy, jingly things. THE ADVICE SISTERS is a registered United States trademark. Hes hurting because he cares about you. But i also wouldn't mind seeing him not being strong all the time. He rarely even looked up from his food. Rule No.2 Buying more itemsreduces the valueof each gift you give. You've got this! ), Gifts that offer value to masculine souls, Your feminine presence And Connection is the bigger gift. These days, so many of us already have everything we need, and its easy to buy something you *think* would be valuable, but a man doesnt find to be a good gift. Give him that long and tight hug that he needs. If you find out that he really doesnt like to give or get gifts, you need to tell him that you do and that foryou, agift is a way to show affection, and it is important to you. I kinda know that's what he's doing. If one of us cries, the other cries too. He wore it once and has never worn it again. If so, try being proactive. So if you secretly have a crush on a guy and you want to show that youre crushing on him through buying him a gift, I recommend that you dont. Plus, offering the gift of your feminine energy and being happy, open and radiant is a super wonderful gift to begin with. My gf and I are the same way. I just held him tight and kept whispering how much I loved him, that it was ok, Im here, Ive got you etc. (Click here to take the quiz on Am I Dating a Commitment Friendly Man? Its likely that these people were deprived of love and affection as children and given material things to compensate by guilty parents. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. See, if you subconsciously want to flaunt your ability to spend a lot, then its more about you. Just have to take thyroid meds for life. See the Advicesisters' Media Kit/Advertise. I'm so new to all of this and it's kinda overwhelming. CLICK HERE to LEARN the one specific emotional trigger within every masculine man that inspires him to want to take care of you, worship you and deeply commit to you. Tie it to a friends birthday party and should you bring a gift, or something like that. The fact that my husband never cries is known and joked about in his family, last time anyone has seen him cry was when he was 11. I'm sorry I hurt you this way. So Im glad youre there for your boyfriend <3 thanks for sharing. No gift, and Id say DUMP HIM! When it comes to gift giving.its tempting to buy a man several items of clothingor a cologne or another walletbecause these are the easiest options. A place to get personal things off your chest. By the way, while youre at it, connect with me on social media. In the past 24 hours my boyfriend had also called me an idiot and told me I looked like shit. My boyfriend(27M) isn't someone who shows his emotion very often. Not because I dont want them to feel they can be vulnerable with me, but because ideally they never suffer a loss so bad as it brings them to tears. If he is using ongoing emotional abuse, then it may be supportive for you to take the list - and discuss what's happening to you - to a trusted friend or family member (possibly someone he has said he does not like or does not want you to see), or a counsellor. I grabbed him and started hugging him and asked what was wrong. Following the no contact rule puts the power back in your hands. Maybe 20 mins later I could see him literally on the verge of tears, I rolled to my side and put my arms around him pulling him into my chest, thats when he started. CLICK here for my article on the 6 behaviours you should never tolerate in a man. Actions speak louder than words. Question: Robert and I have been dating just about six months. Maybe in his mind, six months doesnt mean its time to offer gifts. But not when you have NO idea where your relationship with this man is going! A mutually supportive community where deeply emotional things you can't tell people you know can be told. But he didnt get me anything in return. I hope our love lasts so I can experience this for the rest of my life. To give away material things is to give away love. Mention how much you miss him. Now, I thought twice about putting in the word sentimental here, because a lot of women will take that and RUN with it. Its so scary to me, But glad for u it could be a point of beautiful change in ur relationship. Women are more likely to OBSESS about a breakup. We'll listen, and if you want, we'll talk. I kept kissing him on the lips, forehead, neck & occasionally embracing him. We try and stay strong for our partners its our roles as men. ), I am of the belief that when it comes to the dating stages, our value comes from the more intangible things.The masculine men in the world around you will find you more endearing and want to take more care of you if you make a simple purchase that is meaningful and leave it at that. But he's right, you'll get through this together. Maybe its when were showering or when we have the place to ourselves, but thats when it all comes tumbling out usually. Its just not a gift that would light up his soul (unlike the gift of a BJ if youre in a relationship! I Gave Him A Valentine Surprise Gift! And there's nothing wrong with being happy you can be there for them in their times of need. That's so nice!! It helps them adjust and it makes them think. Ie: you always spend less than a man, or you never buy a man gifts? Generally speaking, they like gifts that add to their masculinity and their purpose in life, not gifts that make them feel cherished. Theres a lot of women who talk the talk but would slowly let that kind of display ruin their relationship. 7. It might be a bit forward, but when you know V-Day/birthday/holidays are coming up, talk simply and plainly to him. Firstly, its risky because its much smarter to show your feelings through playfulness. Let's look at a few other benefits of following the no contact rule. By continuing to use this site, you agree to our updated Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. I mean, who wants to hear their significant other has cancer? Wellif you guys already have established a deep connection, you are married, have been together a long time, and youre sure he also loves you, this gift may be OK. Instead, give an honest reaction to the gift. Personally, i think seeing my partner cry because of me would melt my heart so much. You deserve to date someone who treats you like royalty, period. He continued crying harder & it broke my heart. Instead, youre probably just trying hard to prove that youre worthy.Flaunting your ability to spend a lot doesnt touch a masculine man. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Start small, with a book, a CD, a small item. Youve got this. Alison Blackman is a beauty, fashion and lifestyles writer, editor and consultant. Do enough to show you care, but dont try to prove yourself through gift giving. Regarding number 1; if you get a sentimental gift for a guy friend, theres a small chance he might assume that you are romantically interested in him. I haven't been able to cry in front of others since that day. So if youre focused on expensive, youre not truly adding value, unless hes specifically asked you to buy him something that costs a lot of money. Why does my boyfriend cry when he sees me crying? Open up to him and encourage him to do the same to you. Having her helped me get through the roughest days of chemo, when I was sick, tired, and ready to call it quits. Send him a flirty text. CLICK HERE to discover the ONE PHRASE you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say! My boyfriend cried in front of me and it changed everything. If you want to get him any of these things, make sure that it has a context and that its not just an extra on top of all the other clothes or wallets he has just for the sake of acquiring things. This is a classic and very popular Q&A from the dating and intimacy website LeatherandLaceAdvice.com. So, I found an artist. Thankyou so muchhh. Forget about, Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), NOT Feeling the Holiday Spirit, Youre Not, They Wont Re-gift These Stocking Stuffers, I'm seeing suggestions (in other places), 3 Good For Skin Beauty Brands That Will Knock Your, Although advicesisters.com does plenty of stories, Be Better Not Younger With a Fabulous Gift in a Big, You Really Can Get Beauty Products That are Luxe and, AdviceSisters What Works Beauty Review Archived stories 2007-2012. God bless wonderful ladies such as yourself. I said that Id like him to feel free to ask me if I can shower with him whenever he needs (a Redditor pointed out that calling the whole act an easier name to say may make him more inclined to let me know when he wants to do it again). I felt so bad for him I had some tears myself. But yeahmaybe I underestimated his feelings for me. Unless you have something to prove: ie: that you gain your feeling of worthiness through flaunting your wealth. If you want to be supported by a warm community of high value feminine women, then join our Facebook Group. Page. A woman that cant accept a man crying should be embarrassed. He was really struggling but he managed to get a few words out in between tears and they meant everything to me. If the man youre with is NOT committed to you yet, thats when you need to be extra mindful of what youre giving. I know probably breaking up is it, but I am really in love, its my first relationship, crush, romance, everything so its difficult. But you didnt hurt him so dont apologise. AlmightyGrady232 51m Ik but I never seen him cry Infront of me so I assumed he was mad at me or I did something for him to feel bad. The only person hes ever confided in was his mother when he was a child/teen. I know it should be an obvious good thing and I think it is, but I still feel scared about it sometimes. Im dreading his mothers passing but Im hoping hell let me be there for him, even if it just a shoulder to cry on. Well said, my dude! At the end of the day, the potential value in any gift is far beyond the price tag associated with it. Someone suggested a text or a note which seems kind of in the middle so I went for that option. He was very close to this person, and the letter just really got to him. If a guy gives you a gift, does he like you? It was his hangout, because i went to my room at 12:03 sharp, and it still continued after i was told how ungrateful i am. (Its free and so incredibly valuable!) So, I found an artist who could draw [the story] based on the character descriptions he gave me., Though Obinnas reaction in the video pretty much says it all, Niaconfirmed:He told me hes never been so happy., Nia also shared a few images of the artwork for those who were curious. We didnt write this specifically for Valentines Day, because the question is relevant to every special event in your life. Otherwise, if a guy is just a friend, theres no problem with getting him a gift. My boyfriend hardly ever cries . But I couldn't because I was doing it for her as much as myself. I wasnt expecting such a response. He's a tough guy. Is there a equivalent in English? Reply 94. 1. Ive taken on board all the suggestions you so kindly made. I got mixed messages when it came to talking to him about it. There are five distinct possibilities when you give him a gift and he doesnt say anything: But theres one caveat: they like the gifts the see value in. Feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to that has gone through it!
my boyfriend cried when i gave him a gift